Saturday, November 27, 2010 ♥
it hurts. it really hurts.
though i know my reaction is way too over,
but i can't control it.
i'm just feeling real sad and unhappy.
how i wish it was a dream
Tuesday, November 23, 2010 ♥
;( ;)
What's the main purpose of living on the earth?
isn't it we live for ourselves?
yes, i bet most of you do.
i can proudly say that i'm not !
THANKS God for not letting me to choose,
& now i'm seriously impressed with the so-called life.
aiks!
the second day, short? long? neither one.
being the odd race in a big class is really awful!
i would rather study with chinese though they say its more competitive.
could you imagine if there are only 2 chinese students for the whole intake?
yea, exactly how is it on your mind now, horribly terrific?
especially me, i have never get to know malay friends in my previous 19 years.
i used to repel them as much as i can.
but now, how ironic is that, i have to face them for 4 years.
yea! how happening is that? sigh
somehow i's still feeling really reluctant to come over uniten.
UTAR, i miss you!
nobody else loves you more than i could be.
& i miss you bb.
Monday, November 22, 2010 ♥
I am not happy.
uniten kills me. =(
tears are something that can express myself now.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010 ♥
heart & mind.
Sometimes heart and mind have just too obvious difference.
i was thinking that heart and mind are parallel,
they think and act in the same way, they will never interrupt each other.
but i was wrong, totally wrong.
this is what mind did,
i was once thought that i have already matured, i do know what i'm thinking,
and i know how to accept what i'm going to do.
but my heart felt differently,
i'm still living under torture, i know i will still have to accept the fact and destiny,
but these few days are really cruel,
can i fast forward it or rewind?
let me fly to kl and escape from the bye bye moment.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010 ♥
sotplug
不知从何时开始，我开始不习惯一个人了。
不知从何时开始，眉头皱了就不再展开。
有时候，事情不是我想要的，
可是，就是控制不了。
其实我讨厌用华语，我也不知道我在做什么。
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
hate the world, hate myself, hate everything.
way too much hatred within myself, zzz
guess i will suicide soon. see you on newspapers.
Monday, November 15, 2010 ♥
5 more days ;(
i will be leaving Ipoh, in 5 days time.is it worth to be happy or sad?
maybe i should be glad that i can change to a new environment?
i can know more friends? *don want babi*
i can have more entertainment in kl?
things are just unpredictable, everything is beyond my imagination.
let it be, and i will handle when it comes.
hopefully i'm smart enough ;(
the number 3 that stands by my side, nicholas aw kim vee.
i know you're just one of us haha. vdbb will love you more and more.
thought of having that plan, but i guess it wouldn't work out.
you just don't have the intention to spend more time with me.
Sunday, November 14, 2010 ♥
Life's good when i found someone matters.
At last, i find a way out for my stuck problem again.
thanks to miss liewsiewhui, your words help me a lot, seriously.
you're irreplaceable in my heart, till the end of my life
♥haha, i know its quite sickening,
but i still have to say it,
because you're often the one who can helps me when i'm in trouble.
thanks to mr dangbangbin, your action helps me a lot too.
don't forget what you've promised me or else you'll be dead in pieces. ♥
Sometimes, it's hard to find people who care for you,
sometimes, it's hard to find people who are real to you,
sometimes, it's just too easy to meet fakers,
sometimes, we just have to get used of it.
because, we're humans, we have to, we forced to, accept the cruelty of life.
as long as there's someone who stands by my side, i'll be satisfied.
not more, one is more than enough.
and now, i got 2!! haha.
love you both to the maximum!!
Friday, November 12, 2010 ♥
I am not happy.
Can someone please help me to pass this to my dearest mom?
I've no bravery at all.
Dear Mom,
i appreciate a lot when you're paying concern on my studies matter,
i truly believe that your choice is always smarter than mine,
i wish to follow always, as in every decision that you make.
i wish to make you happy, because you're my mother,
i always know that mom is always the best, and i always listen to you.
but this time, aiks, dilemma between uniten and utar.
i hate to make choice and decision, i would rather wait people to decide my future.
can i have a perfect solution for this case?
MOM, can i stay in Ipoh?
MOM, can i stay away from kl?
MOM, can i study what i want?
MOM, can i escape from engineering course?
Last time i always wished to get out from Utar instead of staying in the deadtown Kampar.
i wanted for more entertainment and i thought i could leave you all for a long period just for the sake of freedom.
now i know i was wrong! i have never tried to leave home for so long,
until i went penang for my part time job.
exactly 8 days, i couldn't bear with my homesick anymore.
now i know i couldn't leave Ipoh or the family for more than 5 days.
yes, 5 days are the maximum as i tried in my foundation at Utar.
aiks, what could be done?
it was all my fault, i was once trying so hard to get out from Kampar.
& now am i trying to persuade you to allow me to go back Utar?
i don't dare. that's why i never speak.
i know, maybe you'll think i want to stay here because of bb,
frankly true indeed, but its only small portion, i won't sacrifice my important studies because of someone.
MOM, can i choose not to study engineering?
MOM, can i choose to study finance or any arts courses?
I know you're not controlling me, you would give me freedom to choose, wouldn't you?
seriously i do not know what i want, i just don wanna leave you all.
tears drop whenever i think of going to uniten.
maybe things will change when i reach kl,
maybe i will get adapted and get used to kl life after i settle down.
but definitely not now, i can't imagine it at all.
i seriously don wanna go uniten,
i seriously don wanna go kl,
i seriously don wanna leave family,
i seriously don wanna leave friends,
i seriously don wanna leave him.
;( ;( ;(
yours sincerely
LAM MUN YEE
God, you're treating me bad and unfair ;(((((
Thursday, November 11, 2010 ♥
thing turns in other way when you're expecting.
thought of giving up and i'm hoping for another,
and yet it came back to me,
but i am not happy at all ;(
Wednesday, November 10, 2010 ♥
Aiks
Problems.
Difficulties.
are
what
i'm
facing
now.
Can
i
solve
it
with
my
bare
hands?
HOPEFULLY.
Dad needs to go hospital for check-ups ;(
God bless.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010 ♥
I'm a loner ;)
out of a sudden, just don't feel like mixing with people around.
hope to escape from the problems that i heard.
living in a cave, wearing just a piece of cloth, doing things alone,
without noticing others, could be ignoring people's opinions and thoughts.
i would say thanks God if i were having that kind of life, why?
i do not know.
somehow i still feel that alone is better than knowing people that influence you in a pretty incorrect way.
loneliness doesn't kill, conspiracy does.
if humans are having intention to make you fall from the top of mountain,
or in other words, they want you to die,
they will just work so hard to make it, and you'll be done.
cruel indeed but what to do? this is the nature of world
thanks God, i still got parents.
they will never kill me ;)
rubbish post
