有那么一瞬间，我觉得世界没了希望。
有那么一瞬间，我觉得我是没用的。
有那么一瞬间，我觉得我的世界不再是属于我的。

可是，

我会想了。

I do know that there is not only one way to solve a problem.
it's useless to keep focusing on side and neglecting the others.
I do know that there is "the road not taken"
but so what? as long as i have tried my best,
i do not think that i have to regret over anything. =)
problems solved, smiles appeared, laughters remained ;)

ran at 2:30 PM / top

once people ask her where am i going to study,
she answers uhmm yea, kl.
i shut my mouth up and keep quiet.
told him few sentences and tears dropped,
he asked me to tell her,
but i didn't.
chose to be silent and i guess she noticed.
she didn't say anything either.
whatever. hope to be senile right now
& let people help me to choose,
no matter in what.
i don wanna make decision.
FML

ran at 3:49 PM / top

BBQ session finished and i'm all alone at home again.
was quite a nice one but someone drunk like shit.
you know who you are =)
the post that is specially dedicated to all my UTAR best friends.
i will never forget all of you as time passes.

♥ Bigsalt ♥
~you're the one who saved me from pigu's hand, i will always remember this. without you, i can never join this group and know all of you. you're the first that i know in class, i still remember how was my first day in ddk5 for malaysian studies. and next week, its gonna be our finals and hope you can score well in your maths as our lan subjects are already expected to pass. khorwenxian, hope you can find your beloved in your life as soon as possible. i can foresee it! haha

♥ Chee Ann ♥
~although we're in the same school since primary, i got to know you only in sem 4. thanks to the lan subjects. & i still remember clearly that you took my hp number just because of you intended to skip class and ask me to sign for you haha. what a way! you must work hard in you finals and proceed to degree in next year january okay? wong chee ann! don always get fed up over the same thing again and again, time will fade everything and i bet you can do it ! ♥

♥ Banana Aw ♥
~you're really a gentleman. hope you wont be flying when you see my post, but im just saying the truth. you helped and entertained us a lot. you're the one who always make to outing to be happening. seriously i will feel something is missing if you're not with us. now you know your importance? haha okay, serious! nicholas aw kim vee, you often make me puke blood because you will never listen to our advice ! i bet you know what im talking about. stand up! and let go! don emo! we will always by your side. *perhaps they will always by your side due i might be leaving =( * but, you're always my sista!!! ♥

♥ Bangbin ♥
~hahaha frankly speaking, i love your name very much. i have never seen such special name before haha. you must feel grateful to your parents and remember to appreciate your name, feel proud to admit and ask people to call you bangbin instead of victor. victor dang bangbin, you said you want to be good and influence those people around you, im sure you can do it! and i don forget to say that you're a gentleman too haha later you jealous what i said to nic nic. you're good, gave me tissue, borrowed me your bed, bought us corn, helped me reload and etc. don emo again because i praise you a lot!!! you want brother or sista? haha. ♥

♥ Kam Mou ♥
~ i have nothing to say to you ! as i have known you since sem 1 and for one year plus haha. tan cheenyong, be more steady and don always zat zat tiu lar lol. work hard in your studies and im sure you can do it. be steady !!! ♥

♥ Melvin ♥
~seriously i hope that you can change my mom's mind, somehow i don think you can. haha never mind, just let it be. you're the one who always remind me about uniten uniten and uniten. always talk about the advantages of staying in utar and you're persuasive. hope that you can be a great emcee in the future and i will always support you ! ♥

♥ william ho, wendy lee, leovine ♥
~thanks for making my utar sem4 life such interesting and memorable ♥


i have too much too much to talk to you all! i cant finish it in one post and i will miss you all like mad if i were really about to leave utar and go uniten. once again! thanks to all! i will never forget the cameron trip that we had. love and hugsss
♥ ♥ ♥

ran at 8:20 PM / top

i'm waiting for the bbq
tomorrow night !
and it seems like a farewell party for all of us
this week will be the last class for our sem 4
after this then we will have our finals
and everything will be done
done in the sense that,
i don need to go back utar anymore
wont be stepping half of my footstep into kampar anymore
no need to deal with the freaking stupid car slots anymore
no need to face noob lecturer anymore
BUT
ONE THING
i don wanna leave my friends.
zzz i'm indeed not powerful enough.
world is cruel

ran at 3:40 PM / top

still remember how we become besties, still remember how we define true friends. all of us are here when we need each other by our side. still remember how we argue, and how we patch back our wound, without scars. bad memories are meant to forget and good ones are meant to keep, we did it. no matter what we did, we will only remember the good ones, as always. this makes our friendship last long and i swear we will have no regrets. &now, we have separated to different places for studies, who knows what's next? gap might be getting larger or communication might be getting lesser? nothing can be done and it's all depend on our own, the bond which holds us together. duration is not a problem but hard work which takes under consideration. thankyou friends, who make my life more meaningful or i should say as all of you make my life easier to live on.


still rememeber how i got into UTAR, the first day i stepped into block D and DDK2. i will never forget the sight in my whole life. it was like i have grown up to an adult and i'm studying university. i was alone, no one to talk to, no one to accompany. it was okay, as expected. passed my 3 sems in Utar and i know them. them who shifted to setapak for their engineering course and actuarial science. i was once thought of staying in UTAR because of them. & I didn't do so, i insisted.

still remember how i entered DDK5 for my lan subjects. uniten forced me to. how i wish sem 4 could end faster and i expect myself to skip classes like 3 previous sems. but i didn't! because i know them. i almost attended all the classes except for the week of FIFA world cup final. & now, i hope time to freeze and i don wanna end my sem 4. i don wanna make decision. seriously, i thought of studying arts stream is not because of them, it's for my own good. BUT YOU JUST COULDN'T UNDERSTAND AT ALL!

i'm indeed a person who is meaningless to this world.

ran at 11:56 AM / top

grown ups was nice and awesome,
it was meaningful and funny.
how i wish we will like them when we get older.
it's a wish and we can make it true =)
but sometimes, hope is meant to be broken.
things aren't going well as i hope,
it's opposing and i can do nothing.
by the way,
i hope,
& i wish,
... .... ..

ran at 2:21 AM / top

updated my blog for twice in a same day,
but i bet my patience would not last long,
for sure i will abandon my blog after some time.
it happened always and i hope that this time i can persist.
what do i want to update?
i don't know.
i'm just too free & bored.
mood swings happen all the time
and i am not able to control at all.
laughters seem to be appeared every second in front of the crowd
but who knows what is in me?
i would rather choose to know nothing.
everyone's blog is making me down,
they leave a heavy footprints in my heart.
♥♥♥
what should i do now?
wait for the opportunity?
or take the initiative?
argh ! amitabha.

ran at 8:48 PM / top

it's illusionary. it wouldn't come true though i hope so for this moment. what? i don't know. God bless :(

ran at 12:41 PM / top

Okay, from today onwards, i will just .... .. !

ran at 10:02 PM / top

ever since at the first place, i love arts more than science, i know my arts would be better than science, i hate calculation and i hate to twist my mind. But, i took science in secondary and continued to foundation. it was all about the wrong perception. everyone thinks that science will have a better future and earning,though it's a truth, i wonder can i cope with science and bury myself into the whole pile of books and notes. i know i couldn't study 3 hours per day, i know i couldn't attend every classes, i know i couldn't concentrate in class, i'm lazy! what the heck is it? i'm trying to persuade myself for arts. sigh! somehow mom is still the most important factor. what if she doesn't allow? am i going to force myself to study science? ;(

KhorWenXian, your blog made me sobx sobx.

ran at 5:23 PM / top

though everyone says pictures will do the talking, i'm lazy to upload every photos in this stupid lousy blog, facebook will do =) seriously cameron trip was a super super memorable trip, i enjoyed a lot with all of them since when are the same gang and team. we will never argue, we will tolerate and we love each other. when i first knew them, i have never expected that we will become a gang and so close to each other. somehow, it seems like a farewell trip for us =((((( i don't hope it to end, but it did. time is uncontrollable and flying away with an exaggerate speed. love the cameron trip a lot !

btw, science or arts? sighhhhh... utar or uniten? aikzzzzzzz somehow everything is unpredictable and i cant make a clear decision now ! argh

ran at 11:23 PM / top

had two celebrations on the same day which are grandma's and siehwui's birthday, i enjoyed both. but at the same time, we wasted a lot of snacks and junk food at kbox, i felt so helpless when i was looking at our wastage food. i couldn't eat all by myself and i have no container to fill it and bring back to home zzz it wasn't worth to pay 30 bucks just to scream inside the room. but afterall it was a nice session with all of my best friends =)

and today ! today is the exact birthday of miss liewsiewhui, 8th of august ! hope that she will like the present and celebration. i wish our friendship last long long and will never end. & this,i am sure that we can do it! haha. you've gone to kl for quite a couple of months and now our friendship has never faded. we're just fated to be BFF, so just follow the destiny will do. =)

ran at 12:57 PM / top

again, i have just come back from kampar for the stupid campaign and at last, i have attended for 5 times ! what's next? it will be our own campaign and i don think it will be a successful one because i do know myself that i am not good in acting, gg. but in the other way round, they told me just be natural because my character just suits my personality which i will act as a father, i know i'm rough =.=

by the way, i have watched the last airbender and it was actually quite okay but i fell a sleep when i was in cinema due i was too tired. though my friends said it wasn't a nice one, i still feel that it was better than the lousy inception. i just had a nice moment with all of them. perhaps from today onwards then i don't have the guts to drive alone at night anymore gg, they told me a lot of those stories and those were actually real, some of them even experienced it by themselves. awesome ! i just couldn't imagine how it gonna be if i were the one ! choi! touch wood.

i passed by the roadside, i saw an aunty was selling durian with all her body sweating, how i wish i could buy all of her durian and she doesn't need to suffer anymore. sadly, i'm not that powerful yet. i swear, i will help everyone that i witness their torture and suffer if i were able to. wait for the future, & i can do it!

& i have to wake damn fucking early just to fetch siblings to school tomorrow ! zzz

ran at 5:31 PM / top

Just came back from moral discussion after the stupid moral class and campaigne. I don't like to attend class but i like the moments when i'm with friends. We had our so-called-discussion but it was actually a chit-chat session. Moral subject is no longer in our topic but we can pull our topic to cameron trip, hope it will be a successful one =) I want to go cameron once in my life with friends because i know i wouldn't have to chance to go with family due to my sister's car sick. It's too bad! I want to enjoy the weather, strawberries and a lot a lot more. I'm not going to imagine anymore as i'm worrying that the bigger disappointment that i will get =S We will have our moral test tomorrow and now i'm still blogging, wish it wouldn't be a tough one and i'm able to finish all the questions with my lousy bahasa melayu. gg. God bless.

ran at 7:19 PM / top

some people do say that blogging helps them to release their mind and what they feel, but i totally disagree about this. why can't i feel so? perhaps its just too hard to find some appropriate words to express my so-called-feeling. today was a fairy tale? wrong! today was a piece of shit! everything is in a mess and i do not know how am i supposed to settle it. life cycle is indeed confusing. if i have a choice, i wouldn't choose to be human in my next generation. people are complex and complicated, we can even see it from our structure and outlook. why do we have different different kinds of skin colours, eyes, noses, mouths, ears, hair and so on? can't we just be the same and we get treated for the same way? life is indeed unfair and am i being left out? god, please! notice the existence of mine.

ran at 10:15 PM / top