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A diary about myself

An ordinary girl with an extraordinary bad tempered. thanks for tolerating and forgiving. I Love You
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Flash backs

March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
December 2011
October 2012
March 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
December 2013
March 2014
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
December 2014
March 2015
April 2015
May 2015
June 2015
November 2016

Just Leave It


Tuesday, November 29, 2016 ♥
I'm here again

yeh I'm here again. why? god knows it well.
we were not trading, why did you take it as a trade?
sorry I shouldn't be thinking, cos you don't even worth my single second.
hope spoilt, dream spoilt. thanks to you.
despite all of the fake promises and hopes, yeh i survived!

ran at 10:01 AM / top

Tuesday, June 23, 2015 ♥

I got all I need when I got you and I,
I look around me, and see sweet life,
I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight,
You're gettin' me, gettin' me through the night,
Can't stop my heart when you shinin' in my eyes,
Can't lie, it is a sweet life,
I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight.

ran at 3:01 PM / top

Monday, June 22, 2015 ♥

等待,那一天的到来。
爱,真的很爱。
爱,很简单,就是爱。

ran at 8:57 AM / top

Sunday, June 14, 2015 ♥

再见了。我明白。

ran at 11:18 PM / top

Saturday, June 13, 2015 ♥

当初信誓旦旦给你承诺的那个,竟是现在搞到你片体鳞伤的同一人。

ran at 6:38 PM / top

Saturday, May 9, 2015 ♥

I do not know why I am even updating this post.
I have a lot in my mind, but there is no word to describe or express.
Maybe, everything is destined and fated.
Maybe, the result or outcome would not change no matter what I opt for.
People, do not simply promise just to make that moment romantic if you do not mean it.
You might have said it without remembering, but can you imagine the pain which you bring to the someone who listened to it?
Nobody will blame you for not telling your so -called sweet promises, there is no disappointment if hope has never crossed your mind.
I thought, I am standing strong after so many years means I've done something that I am supposed to do, but I was wrong,
Shadow? Yes, the shadow is haunting me, to everywhere and anytime.
Few years later which is today, is it only me that has memory?
Frankly speaking, I find it unfair.
When people are able to move on without even stumbling and looking back, why am I still standing at the origin?
Sorry, yes I do know that this post is messy, because I do not know how to make my thoughts to be well-presented.
Ohhh, or maybe this is not even a thought, it is all imagination, which I concern and take it seriously, but, people don't.
Am I at fault? Why God torture me like I deserve it?
I thought I will be strong and tough after incident by incident, but, wrong again.
Why am I even complaining now? Crazy. Insane,

I do not feel like staying here, but at the same time, I do not feel like going home,
Yes, the world is not changing, people are. So do I.
Or I should say, when can I be a better person?
To control my mind and emotion better. Perhaps, it takes forever.
What is the point of writing so long? I don't know. I am bored.
I need to make my life more productive. I do not want to stay in my comfort zone for like, decades.
I have too much to worry, to think of, to consider, to decide.
DAMN IT LIFE IS HARD.

Not fully expressing my thought though, I still feel blue.


ran at 10:04 PM / top

Tuesday, April 28, 2015 ♥

他要来就来,何必牵肠挂肚?
他要是不来,何必一厢情愿?

ran at 10:01 PM / top

Saturday, April 25, 2015 ♥

要么你让我死,要么你让我好

ran at 5:46 PM / top

Sunday, April 19, 2015 ♥

Ever thought of dying?

ran at 10:18 PM / top


当初我以为的不会在乎,却演变成今天如此撕心掏肺的泪水。
爱,会忍心的看着那泪水的滴下吗?
爱,会忍心的坚持离开那熟悉的空间吗?
爱,胜过千言万语。
多么希望你说,我爱你。

ran at 9:54 PM / top


早知道是这样,像梦一场。

ran at 3:01 AM / top

Monday, March 30, 2015 ♥

It's useless to think and rethink about why.
Because deep down in my heart,
I've known the answer.
Because I don't worth for any effort.
Talk is cheap, so does human's love towards me.
If I were worth fighting, do it.

ran at 11:45 PM / top

Monday, March 23, 2015 ♥

无法控制的泪水

ran at 7:22 AM / top


爱,无法控制。
我以为我爱钱,可是我爱你甚过我爱钱。
我不知道将来该如何,
可是现在难以退后,
早上醒来,依然害怕你不在

ran at 7:21 AM / top

Sunday, December 7, 2014 ♥

每天,临睡或起床,想的东西都一样,
何时才能放下?
我想走,我想远离你,越远越好。
我想和你说,我宁愿你狠心地永远别找我

ran at 11:15 PM / top


不想再经历被人抛弃的感觉
我任何人都不会相信

ran at 10:26 PM / top

Monday, August 4, 2014 ♥

对,我就是这么一个那么容易得到,那么容易抛弃的女人。
不用一言一语,就这样,解决了。
还记得去年吗?
我的脑,没得休息,我很累了,真的很累。
不停地为你找借口,认为你还是好的,可是我真的很累了。
我想去死,然后就知道谁会伤心。

ran at 7:22 PM / top

Saturday, August 2, 2014 ♥

谢谢那些曾经伤我的,骗我的,玩弄我的,
谢谢你们,我会振作的,
有一天,你们会看到更好的我。

ran at 12:20 AM / top

Tuesday, July 15, 2014 ♥

有时候,我只想在我哭的时候,
有人会在我背后拥抱我。

ran at 3:12 PM / top

Sunday, July 13, 2014 ♥

算了?
不算?
我还可以不算吗?
还是算了吧。
终究注定就是注定。

ran at 9:41 PM / top

Saturday, June 21, 2014 ♥

now that, i ask myself everytime im tipsy.
its you.

ran at 4:42 AM / top

Wednesday, June 18, 2014 ♥

Undeniable, I miss you.


ran at 10:01 PM / top

Thursday, May 29, 2014 ♥

Now that a question that comes across my mind very frequently,
Should I really move out from my comfort zone?
Is it wise to make a decision to work out of my hometown?
Everything, it's everything, that seems not beneficial to do so.
First move, first decision, that will make up the whole path of my life.
God, please grant me with guidance.


ran at 9:50 PM / top

Monday, April 21, 2014 ♥

有时候,我真的很矛盾。
我时常问你,你明白我吗?了解我吗?
我喜欢问,你记得我喜欢吃什么吗?做什么呢?
问题是,我自己都不懂答案,又怎么要求别人会懂呢?
勇敢要怎么做到呢?锻炼?大胆?不是。
而是,你很喜欢很喜欢,你就会勇敢了。

ran at 9:46 PM / top

Sunday, April 20, 2014 ♥

掩盖不了的伤心。
可能,我就是这么失败,for life.
心疼的是不甘心。
该怎么继续?

ran at 1:02 AM / top

Sunday, April 13, 2014 ♥

时间,真的能让我看清楚一个人。
日久见人心,路遥知马力。

ran at 9:06 PM / top

Thursday, April 10, 2014 ♥

有时候我在想,做人真的好累。
不停的迎合别人,无论你多么的不愿意。
好累,好累。

ran at 9:00 PM / top

Friday, March 21, 2014 ♥

if i were given a chance again, i would.
because i've exposed to the society, i know how it is gonna be.
i know what i was wrong.
holding to my own principles is my part, changes to be made is another part.
somehow, it is not possible anymore.

to see or not, it is fate.
if happen to see this, that is my luck.

yuanlaiwohaitingliuzaiyuanbu.

ran at 3:15 PM / top

Thursday, December 26, 2013 ♥

其实,oncall 真的带给人很大的启发。
人,最重要是要乐观和积极。
我呢,也是时候要变了 :)

ran at 3:11 PM / top

Tuesday, December 17, 2013 ♥

我有他们是我的父母,
我有他们是我的兄弟姐妹,
我很幸福,
无论我多坏,多顽皮,多不粘家,多任性,
他们都包容。

我有她们是我的好姐妹,
我很幸福,
无论我笨了多少次,愚蠢了多久,变了多少,
她们都包容。

我有他们是我的好兄弟,
我很幸福,
无论我多粗鲁,多凶,骂多少粗口,
他们都包容。

如果没了他们,我不知道我该怎么活了。
所以说,没了爱情,我还不是这样过!

谢谢天,赐给了我他们!<3 p="">

ran at 8:26 PM / top

Wednesday, December 4, 2013 ♥

曾经瞳景的一切,化为乌有。
多么痛的领悟。

以后,我一定要住 studio apartment,
因为我不喜欢在家和人讲话。
一个人生活,真好。

ran at 7:47 PM / top

Sunday, December 1, 2013 ♥

sometimes, i wish i were worms in human's stomach, so that i can know what's in their minds.
sometimes i just don't get why, maybe what i need is just a reason, an answer for my question.
sorry, i know i can never understand.
伤心,又能如何。
 

ran at 11:03 PM / top

Friday, November 22, 2013 ♥

what a night. an extraordinary Friday night.
staying home lying on the bed and surfing through web.
actually wanted to go out kl area to have some tea and cake,
but no one can make it.
so, pathetic life.

extraordinary as in thing is not happening in the usual way.
can i know why? maybe no reason.
is thing going the wrong way? is something not right?
tell me if you have the answer.
i'm sick of thinking what has gone wrong.
maybe it's back to that old shit again.

ran at 8:25 PM / top

Tuesday, November 19, 2013 ♥

多么希望有一天,和自己喜欢的人雨中漫步。

ran at 9:54 PM / top

Sunday, November 17, 2013 ♥

humans are realistic, the undeniable fact, but we gotta accept.
humans are complicated, same to my feelings.
who could actually control? no one.

hate separation seriously,
i wish this is the simple life that i'm longing for.
comfortable yet simple,
sometimes silent, but I'm myself.

ran at 9:06 PM / top

Thursday, November 14, 2013 ♥

有的时候,真的希望有人会了解自己多一点,甚至了解我不了解的。
我就是那么的天真。
别人的少少付出,自己会感动得死去活来,
回想一下,原来是多么的微不足道,对方根本不屑理会。
是自己想太多,执着太多?
回来的,终究会回来,是你的,永远没人可以抢走。
一样,不是你的,你抢也没用。
有的时候,要得就这么一点点,为什么身边一个人都没有呢?
我就是这么的孤单,孤独。
我有问题了,可以找谁?你吗? 他吗?他们吗?最终还是我自己,一个人。
问题解决不了,想找个人依靠,能吗?
我一个人,很累了。
等得,很累了。
累得无法形容。
不想了。
这一秒,突然间的开窍了,想通了,开心了。
可下一秒,又郁闷了,每天循环,心就来负担不起了。


ran at 8:43 PM / top


等什么?我真的不知道。

Never cared, and wouldn't care.
I know it well.
I am the one being stubborn.

ran at 6:49 PM / top

Tuesday, November 12, 2013 ♥

Somehow, something is missing.
Maybe time helps, maybe.
Going on or not, that is the question.

People are realistic,
but do realize where your position is.
If its meant to be, it will be.
There's no point grabbing.
In the end, you'll suffer from poverty, that you're the only person left in your world,
loneliness that will kill you.
Please wake up from your wonderland,
review from your mistakes,
nobody will blame you.

ran at 12:55 AM / top

Friday, November 1, 2013 ♥

Denying is what we good at.
Your action actually shows everything.

ran at 1:42 AM / top

Wednesday, October 30, 2013 ♥

就是因为每个人的标准都不一样,所以世界才会有这么多分歧。



ran at 3:30 AM / top

Monday, October 28, 2013 ♥

I may leave, if you're not there.

Heard a sentence,
" What's the point of asking when you already knew the answer?"
" It's the thought that counts"
wonderful.

ran at 10:56 PM / top

Thursday, October 24, 2013 ♥

It's raining now, and I'm alone.

I'm actually quite good at running,
like running on a track,
and indeed running away from problems.
a shoulder is needed, seriously, to rely on,
I'm sick of being independent.

sorry I was mean,
but behave yourself so that I can respect you.
maybe you've known my true color.



ran at 2:39 AM / top

Tuesday, October 22, 2013 ♥

I THOUGHT.

ran at 9:14 PM / top


hope should be eliminated.
those things are the one that killing.
maybe those should be stolen, i dont wanna remember.
thanks god if you grant me with this wish.

ran at 1:42 AM / top

Sunday, October 20, 2013 ♥

The thing is, you have your rights to say whatever you like.
The thing is, it is impossible to satisfy everyone in this world, those who love you, will continue loving, those who don't, it doesn't even matter.
The thing is, just couldn't care much.
Good job world.


ran at 10:07 PM / top

Monday, October 14, 2013 ♥

sitting beside the window, 
looking at the ceiling,
expecting thing to happen, but it never.
once again, i'm a fool.
i don't get why.
nobody sees my effort,
no matter how much i paid.
thought things would be better,
but i was wrong, after my so called effort.
i'm just too SMART,
that people can take me for granted.
words typing..... tears dropping....

today, i'm just unhappy.

ran at 9:27 PM / top


After today, then ill know.
Maybe that was your motive.
Nobody, I am.

ran at 3:15 PM / top

Sunday, October 13, 2013 ♥

As long as there's love,
I will wait.
Today,
I'm just happy.
Because you have admitted indirectly.

ran at 3:21 AM / top

Thursday, October 10, 2013 ♥

sometimes, different action might lead to different effect on different people.
you cannot expect the same outcome from different people.
you cannot expect the same effect to the same person at different time.
i dont know what i am talking about, maybe drunk talking.
this is life, this is fact.
i want the old me, 
kinda impossible huh.

ran at 3:45 AM / top

Wednesday, October 9, 2013 ♥

somehow, a dream is still a dream.
no matter a dream towards a specific person, or a thought.

hoping by the time when the sun rises,
everything will have its own solution,
hoping God will give me his way.

ran at 2:14 AM / top