yeh I'm here again. why? god knows it well.
we were not trading, why did you take it as a trade?
sorry I shouldn't be thinking, cos you don't even worth my single second.
hope spoilt, dream spoilt. thanks to you.
despite all of the fake promises and hopes, yeh i survived!
I got all I need when I got you and I,
I look around me, and see sweet life,
I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight,
You're gettin' me, gettin' me through the night,
Can't stop my heart when you shinin' in my eyes,
Can't lie, it is a sweet life,
I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight.
I do not know why I am even updating this post.
I have a lot in my mind, but there is no word to describe or express.
Maybe, everything is destined and fated.
Maybe, the result or outcome would not change no matter what I opt for.
People, do not simply promise just to make that moment romantic if you do not mean it.
You might have said it without remembering, but can you imagine the pain which you bring to the someone who listened to it?
Nobody will blame you for not telling your so -called sweet promises, there is no disappointment if hope has never crossed your mind.
I thought, I am standing strong after so many years means I've done something that I am supposed to do, but I was wrong,
Shadow? Yes, the shadow is haunting me, to everywhere and anytime.
Few years later which is today, is it only me that has memory?
Frankly speaking, I find it unfair.
When people are able to move on without even stumbling and looking back, why am I still standing at the origin?
Sorry, yes I do know that this post is messy, because I do not know how to make my thoughts to be well-presented.
Ohhh, or maybe this is not even a thought, it is all imagination, which I concern and take it seriously, but, people don't.
Am I at fault? Why God torture me like I deserve it?
I thought I will be strong and tough after incident by incident, but, wrong again.
Why am I even complaining now? Crazy. Insane,
I do not feel like staying here, but at the same time, I do not feel like going home,
Yes, the world is not changing, people are. So do I.
Or I should say, when can I be a better person?
To control my mind and emotion better. Perhaps, it takes forever.
What is the point of writing so long? I don't know. I am bored.
I need to make my life more productive. I do not want to stay in my comfort zone for like, decades.
I have too much to worry, to think of, to consider, to decide.
DAMN IT LIFE IS HARD.
Not fully expressing my thought though, I still feel blue.
It's useless to think and rethink about why.
Because deep down in my heart,
I've known the answer.
Because I don't worth for any effort.
Talk is cheap, so does human's love towards me.
If I were worth fighting, do it.
Now that a question that comes across my mind very frequently,
Should I really move out from my comfort zone?
Is it wise to make a decision to work out of my hometown?
Everything, it's everything, that seems not beneficial to do so.
First move, first decision, that will make up the whole path of my life.
God, please grant me with guidance.
if i were given a chance again, i would.
because i've exposed to the society, i know how it is gonna be.
i know what i was wrong.
holding to my own principles is my part, changes to be made is another part.
somehow, it is not possible anymore.
to see or not, it is fate.
if happen to see this, that is my luck.
sometimes, i wish i were worms in human's stomach, so that i can know what's in their minds.
sometimes i just don't get why, maybe what i need is just a reason, an answer for my question.
sorry, i know i can never understand.
Somehow, something is missing.
Maybe time helps, maybe.
Going on or not, that is the question.
People are realistic,
but do realize where your position is.
If its meant to be, it will be.
There's no point grabbing.
In the end, you'll suffer from poverty, that you're the only person left in your world,
loneliness that will kill you.
Please wake up from your wonderland,
review from your mistakes,
nobody will blame you.
The thing is, you have your rights to say whatever you like.
The thing is, it is impossible to satisfy everyone in this world, those who love you, will continue loving, those who don't, it doesn't even matter.
The thing is, just couldn't care much.
Good job world.